ah. i wish i could work all day. and all night.

but in this world you can't have everything right?

i mean, first, you try to understand someone, you listen, you help, you encourage, you motivate, you laugh, you bring joy....

and then, you get lied at in return.

nope, one cannot have everything in this world.

last sunday i spent the day with 3 boys and baby girl: azriel, ej, kieran and tattat.

my godchildren:
azriel and kieran




tattat


ej and azriel

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

to him i am a drama-queen, too emotional to have fun with, too fragile to hang out with

to him i am tedious, the one who'd rather stay at home than go out on a drinking spree, the one who'd rather read a book than go to a party as a 'tag along'

to him i am ungifted and unsuccessful, unlike his ex with her golden voice, unlike his crush with her BMW

He sees me, and the first thing he notices are my imperfections.

but unlike him, i'd rather live with my flaws, than live a life full of repression and denial.

My grandparents (moms aunt and uncle) left back for the states last week, and now my aunt (moms cousin), another lola and my cousin are here from the phil. We visited Salzburg 2 times in 2 weeks, and even the scorching heat won't spoil my admiration for Salzburg.

Red Bull Company:


St. Gilgen:


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roman Law exam would be in a weeks time, and i still have 4 books to go. urgh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good thing is, i will be spending my easter holiday in the states next year. perhaps i'll even stay for a month, a week in ny (in ow's apartment weeeh!! in manhattan - yey!). but im still broke.

Me: why does your dragon have a tail?

Him: (after thinking for 5 seconds) hmm.. because he has no pwet.

Him is my 3 year old nephew/godchild.
-----------------------------------------------------------

HM got fired and he's not even sad about it, now he's got more time for his music and his other job. For me, of course, it means, i've got more work to do, but what i'm really unhappy about is that there'd be no more whistling, swinging, red bull drinking, spinning the chair, discussing, hair sniffing, joking around, humming, pencil drumming, sneezing at the same time, chatting, .. at work.

i feel tired and gloomy all of a sudden.

:(

Work keeps me well-balanced lately, reasons why:

at work:

i can actually see positive changes.
i'm not a burden to anyone.
i'm able to fix the chaos that someone else left behind.
my opinion actually matters.
i get to drink free coffee and orange juice/coke light all the time. (thanks to our client)
people smile.
i'm surrounded by books and not bills.

yes, my work does sound like paradise to me lately, but its not really, i still have to withstand MMs scrutiny or ATs big brother attitude, but sadly work has been my solace for the past few days.
of course there is more to life than work, but lately (just lately, i hope) my work gives me more life than well, life itself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a tribute to one of my fave bands (this is so my song at the moment)

firewoman - hungry young poets

the moons gone down,

i know you're still awake.

this heart i found,

i didnt intend to break,

coz i've seen the world from down there

and it wasn't a pretty sight.

now the circle is turning,

are you warm for the fight?

i wanna be your firewoman

i'll water down your desire

coz i know this love is a killer

i wanna put your fire.

apologies, its futility.

now destiny, is not a friend

coz i've seen the world from down there

and it wasnt a pretty sight.

now the circle is turning,

are you gonna be alright?

did you come from danger?

you gave me love for pain.

now you're much more than a stranger.

i wanna give you love but all i have is rain.

(Drums rollin')

tadaaa.. ladies and gentlemen, my crush has a blog!!! awoooooooooooooooooo!

dad is doing much better now. Thank God.
~~~~~~~
the 2nd sem started with a bang! (römisches recht in 2 weeks and yes, i am scaaarreed.)

what else happened lately?

~> he finally found a flat of his own. (and hey, i'm quite proud of him, he's doing his own laundry, cooking his own food (and i'm talking about 'real' food here, no payless or lucky me), ironing his own clothes.... and i'm so glad coz he's loving every minute of it.

~> narcissus boy has been reading my mail (yep, my private mail) for some months now, the nerve. like talking behind my back ain't enough or that until now i'm still the one paying for his mistakes... hey, if you're reading this, what ever happened to your conscience? no, i do not hate you, in fact, i'm praying for you... i pray that all your dreams that you shared with me before would come true one day. act like a man, not like a boy.

~> aunti mau came back from the states (dami kong pasalubong he he!)

~> work in the office.. nothing new to talk about, the library ain't finish yet, and we only have 2 months to go.

~> saving for an ibook. still at bliss with my ipod :)

For women the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.
~ Isabel Allende

(see.. im blogging again :) )
14. Where did most of your money go?
bills and more bills..

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
mail (from the Phil)

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
- dragostea din tea (wasn't a good year for euro pop music)
- die perfekte welle

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?
happier
thinner or fatter? i refuse to answer this question :)
iii. richer or poorer? definitely poorer (im broke but i'm happy.. i'm poor but i'm wise yeaaaah!!!)

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
study

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
cry over a jerk

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
with the family

22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
yes

23. How many one-night stands?
none

24. What was your favourite TV program?
Friends still, CSI, SATC and Pimp my ride

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
hate? noh.. dislike? yes

26. What was the best book you read?
the autobiography of marie antoinette by antonia fraser, paula by isabel allende, wild swans

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Birdland, Morse!

28. What did you want and get?
a smile from Azriel

29. What did you want and not get?
my money..

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Before Sunset

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
celebrated together with my nephew, friends and family ate like theres no tomorrow.. 22

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
if that someone paid ALL his debts to moi

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
i was a fashion victim :)

34. What kept you sane?
Azriel, Arjay (though at times he drove me to the brink of insanity) and Redbull

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
still Pitt :)

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
the Grasser and Gehrer issue

37. Who did you miss?
Mhiles, my sanity, conversations with Vin

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Arjay

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
from my nephew Azriel: Auntie Hilda, drink water, then you'll be ok nah.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Slow down, you crazy child
you're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart, tell me
Why are you still so afraid?

Vienna lyrics - by Billy Joel

2004 - i have to admit, i haven't blog properly... (still convincing myself that i was way too busy to blog... in a way, twas true.. still, what a lame excuse :) )

so.. i'll somehow try to make up for those feeble posts.. PRAMIS! :P

here goes: (got this from q's from Chel... ty)

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Dined here (the firms Christmas Party), danced the Ocho Ocho with Azriel, called the police to report a theft, went to my very first lecture here,..... so many firsts....

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
No and no

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes

5. What countries did you visit?
England. Czech Republic. Italy. Hungary. Switzerland

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
concentration, sleep, time oh and a looong vacation.

7. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
September 12 - someone made me very happy this day
October 16 - Riels vavavavoom Bday Party
Dec. 26 - the horrible news

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
(my mind is blank - sad noh?)
perhaps, withstanding one of the partners at work

9. What was your biggest failure?
not being able to realize fast that someone is using me

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes and yes

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Every item i got from Pandorf and my ipod.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Moms, Mhailas, Arjays and Azriels

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
sheesh.

more tomorrow!!! pRAMIS